Dorothy as Child Tamer and other Useful Life Tips

Want some carrots?

Having just finished two weeks of off again on  again child taming myself, I could have benefited from Alex Massie’s free advice on child taming. Dorothy and friends works well apparently.

The Wizard of Oz transforms cranky tots into goggle-eyed paragons of quiet behaviour.

His sister Claudia has a very fine art blog showcasing some of her work and that of others. I am always interested in the interpretation of the Scottish landscape, brooding and dark. My father is an artist and his early work was like that. He has lightened up a little. I know that the light and changing weather make for some very inspired source material. Here in Australia I capture all those things with my digital camera. Much quicker and a lot easier than developing your own film. What an 80s type of thing. Or was it earlier than that.

Strathearn Journeys by Claudia Massie

And speaking of hobbies and keeping it in the family, this is what my brother likes to do on the weekend. I walked up there one sunny day in summer over 20 years ago. It was snowing on top and there was no view. The diversity of the human experience and peoples interest amuse me. Running up Ben Nevis does not.

This is more along my line. Glaswegian Guerilla Gardening. I wonder if you can get carbon credits for the good works? And our Jakarta correspondent reminds me of why I am happy not to have to go there any more.

Being out of Scotland, it is easy to lose touch with football issues like who is Kris Boyd. A prize prick by the look of things. And who is that other guy?

Here in Adelaide, the big soccer stories are the Socceroos going up against Qatar tonight in World Cup qualifying and Adelaide United’s 22,000 kilometre round trip to Tashkent to try to secure a spot in the final of the Asian Champions League and a spot in the World Club Championship against Manchester United and some other teams. They are even taking along a chef for the trip. What’s wrong with the food in Tashkent.

Talking of great places to watch football. What is it with all those Dumbarton supporting bloggers. They are everywhere. This two word combination with negative conotations reminded of those dour football roundups on a Saturday afternoon that I grew up with.


“Dumbarton nil”


Rangers one?

Insert your team and you know what I mean..

Personally I would add G____e B__s_  and G___d_n B__w_ to that list.

Talking of wankers, this guy will have to learn things all over again.

And when things don’t look too good, just be glad that you have a more positive outlook than this guy.

And if all else fails, try this.

And taking the heartless biscuit, our friends from the Government, planning for the Nuclear Holocaust in the 1970s.

“If your grandmother should die while in the shelter put her outside, but remember to tag her for identification purposes.”

Talking of pleasant Scottish things, how about the weather.

There is just NO getting away from it – Scotland is a ****** cold country. And I’m sorry for swearing but Scotland is so ****** cold all the time that you HAVE TO use expletives. A friend in Sri Lanka who’s done a fair bit of world travel and living abroad told me that when I went home I’d “near freeze to death”. What he forgot to tell me was that it would last for … a month so far and counting. I thought I’d get used to it but I haven’t.

Seems that Sri Lanka has some down sides though, like having to wash your clothes every day. When I lived in the Philippines, the neighbour used to wash our clothes. They lasted about a week after being bashed by river bed rocks to get them clean.

When I first moved to America, I couldn’t get over the fact that it was warm most of the time and sunny almost every day. I am used to it here in Adelaide. Spoilt eh? Unfortunately I am stuck here now, because my family would moan too much if we moved to Scotland. They have the heater on in the house when it is 20 degrees. My kids have no concept of the idea of putting on some clothes when it gets a little cool.

Wednesday is recycling day every second week in our neighbourhood. I was impressed this morning when the driver did a poor job of dumping the bin. Lots of stuff ended up all over the pavement. He got out of his truck, put it back in the bin and dumped it. Perhaps he has something to teach these guys.

And talking of reducing our environmental footprint, it seems that the Scots do quite well.

Talking of things the Scots do well, we are very good at growing potatoes. Almost everyone in Scotland must have taken time off to pick them at some point. Missy M made me all nostalgic Miserable, muddy and cold are my memories, not so different from Missy M’s experience.

So here’s how tattie picking works- the clue’s in the name. A tractor with a thingy attached goes up the field. The thingy digs over the ground exposing the tatties to the world, it is your job to pick them up. There we stand, with our own six meter square area to clear of tatties and put them in buckets. You’ve the time it takes for the tractor to come back down the field until we move on to the next dug section of earth to start over again. It’s physical work alright. In fact, it’s chain gang type work. Without the fetching striped jammies and ….erm, chains.

My brothers father in law was a potato merchant. Every year he used to take his family skiing. I met them in Colorado one year and took them for their first Sushi. He was shocked that you could have a meal without potatoes. It was one of his first ever. We had to take him out to McDonalds for French Fries afterwards so that he could feel that he had eaten.

And if you are in Brae Shetland and feel like some potatoes, you can avail yourself of the most Northerly Fish and Chip Shop in the UK.

Is a Jacobyte bigger than a Gigabyte?

Is a Jacobyte bigger than a Gigabyte?

Moving back into important stuff, Mr Farty continues his common man’s guide to computer storage terminology.

And talking of not quite enough storage, these guys need some external storage by the looks of things. Is it on the other hand, a metaphor for the world economic bail out and the likely end result?

And speaking of festive matters, it is only about 50 days to Christmas.

On that note, I will vacate the keyboard and go and finish my kangaroo sausages. Until the next time. Onya from the Antipodes

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