In a “stunning” last minute substitution – as I believe folk on the football field say – I’ve been drafted in to replace Mike Ritchie and triumphantly boot this week’s Scottish Roundup into the back of the net. Fear not, there is no red or yellow card – Mike is simply hamstrung by the Tyrant, Work – leaving yours truly to speed “down the line”. That was just one of a number of befuddling phrases I recall being flung about on our school football pitches. Happily, I mostly avoided the ball, therefore wasn’t forced to contort my features in bemusement terribly often, as my ungeometric sensibilities failed to locate a “line” in the ragbag of egotistical demi-pubescents who careened across the grass. I never did deduce whether “Man on!” was a warning about some lurking opponent, or a stern admonition to lurk threateningly myself, feet flailing.

The invisible hand of the school sporting market soon allocated me my place  -  doing an unconvincing bollard impression between the coloured paps of some unfortunate team’s goalposts.  I distinctly recall how one of my dun-bellied P.E. teachers waddled up and informed me that I’d get on better in goal if I uncrossed my arms. I rather archly-tartly asked the gormless quarter troll if that was his hypothesis. He grunted. I had my petulant, adolescent, intellectual victory.  No doubt he thought I was an effete little puke. Needless to say, my lumpen stint in goals was not marked by dexterous handling and heroic defending of our position. I was at least a handy excuse if the thrusting strikers on my squad failed to negotiate the ball past the opposition’s goal-posts, which I dare say were also diffidently blocked by an unheroic, abstruse academical soul, sourly doing physical service. But I digress.

Even a man as much out of it as myself couldn’t help but notice the tumult tearing through Scottish football. Happily, we needn’t rely on my expertise (sic) to understand the issues.  Left Back in the Changing Room focussed on the issue of referees. or those of you, like me, who aren’t regular attenders to footballing affairs, Gerry Hassan summarises the issues neatly, arguing that the:

“… emotional spasm which has gripped Scottish football would be comic, were it not so serious, revealing some of the sore wounds and faultlines of Scottish society”.

Martin Kelly connects these developments to shifting Catholic theology on prophylactics arguing:

“… even when the Catholic Church cannot bring itself to comment upon a development which challenges what every Catholic in Scotland has been taught to believe, there is one area of Scottish public life of such gravity, such importance, that time and energy can always be devoted to commenting upon it. That activity is football. Being a football referee is an odd hobby. The tendency of referees to dress in black and impose discipline on athletic young men suggests to me that the Christian Brothers of a harsher, less enlightened era might have lost more than a few vocations to the beautiful game. The psychological stranglehold, the deathgrip, that football exercises over Scotland will hopefully be broken by the imminent referees’ strike. In a mad, Kafkaesque kind of way, wildcat industrial action by the last recognised authority figures in a nation in love with authority for its own sake will hopefully produce a collective public nervous breakdown as a result of which both Scotland and the Scots can be made anew.”

Nick Johnston composes a purely fictional (ahem hem!) tale about Scottish Tories, Baron Sandstone and their leader in the Scottish Parliament, Arabella Tweedie. Meanwhile, well-kent columnist Ian Bell has started writing over at Prospero Inc. The gustiest political story of the week concerns the Scottish Variable Rate and John Swinney’s guilty parliamentary silence. Ideas of Civilisations emerges from his crypt to write about A power so important it was never used. Given her partisan bent, it may shock nobody to discover that Joan McAlpine sees it was a case of the tribulations of Honest John against the toadies. Neil Craig takes a starkly different view. It remains unclear how the brouhaha will effect public opinion (if at all). I have a brisk analysis of the headlines of the Ipsos-MORI poll published this week, while a non-aligned political Corbie assesses some of the questions posed by public attitudes towards the council tax.

One consequence of the SVR ballyhoo is that the stage 1 vote on Margo MacDonald’s End of Life Assistance (Scotland) Bill has been deferred. SNP Glasgow list MSP Anne McLaughlin is struggling with her conscience on the issues raised and asks her constituents for their opinions. This week, Suitably Despairing pens a greenish review of Tony Blair’s biography, A Journey. Cowrin’s opening gambit is that:

“I would say it was fair to categorise him as a better-than-average Prime Minister, with the caveat that he was a lying, warmongering, press-obsessed egomaniac.”

Read the rest here. Scots Whay Hae have also been reviewing this week – Allan Brown’s Nileism: The Strange Course of The Blue Nile.  Alistair Braidwood writes of his trepidation as he opened the tome:

“… there is a problem with biographies of your heroes. Sometimes it is better not to look behind the curtain and discover how the magic is made.”

Not a problem Cowrin wrestled with with Blair’s life, methinks. Kelvin Holdsworth, Provost of St Mary’s Cathedral in Glasgow, writes about homosexuality and debates at the recent meeting of the Church of England’s General Synod under the stark title, Preferring me dead. More jauntily, the damsel of the dancing scones writes about blogging’s transformative potential to accentuate the positive.

In local stories, Bright Green Scotland host an insider’s view of the recent financial collapse of the University of Edinburgh Settlement. In the Western Isles, Angus Nicolson writes about protecting rural schools, while Last Year’s Girl laments the closure of Glasgow’s Borders bookshop:

“I miss how you could get lost browsing the racks, how the stairs and the way the floors were numbered never matched up. It reminded me of the university building that housed my journalism degree – the one that was a converted mental hospital, which was missing a fourth floor although it had two halves of a third and a fifth.”

James Kelly writes on Political Betting about taking a punt on Scottish independence. A Lump in the Throat is conducting an international poetry experiment.  BellaCaledonia have fed their coins into the machine and are now blaring out Maggie’s Jukebox, choice musical memories from 1979 – 1990. Don’t get misty eyed there now. Meanwhile, nautical rodent guineapigmum shares a favourite image of a sea anemone.  She writes:

I took it years ago in the late 1980s on an expedition to St Kilda. There is an underwater cave about 25m down, right below the peak of the island of Dùn in Village Bay; the roof of the cave is covered with sheets of these white cluster anemones (and I’m sorry, we have to do Latin here) Parazoanthus anguicomus.  This photo might not win prizes or be technically the best but I like it.  It evokes for me a wonderful dive site and some great trips to the very edge of Scotland.

Living proof that not all bloggers are ancient opinionated middle aged men, Hollie is a fourteen year old Scottish lassie who blogs here. Meanwhile, Scottish writer Andy McCallum Crawford has been interrogated for the Greek Omikron Magazine and publishes an English translation.

Finally, as it draws to a close, “Remember, remember the month of MOvember! Face-furniture, whiskers and fuzz…” Whyte and Mackay’s Master Blender, Richard “the Nose” Paterson, explains the significance of MOvember and his own reasons for adopting a commemorative cold upper lip, contrary to his usual whisky-strainer style.

And yes, that is the whistle blown! The crowd erupt. The team sag off for a nourishing cup of coffee…  Do remember to keep sending us your nominations and know no shame about nominating yourselves.

Cheerio for now!

This is my second stint at the Scottish Roundup. The last occasion was in March, but it does prove that if those in control like you can’t think of anyone else – they invite you back!

The heading here of course relates to the rather optimistic view of some with relation to the outbreak of the world wars and their possible duration. There has been much reflection on those particular periods in history in recent weeks and not just on remembrance. Yesterday (Saturday 20th) for example saw the 65th anniversary of the beginning of the Nuremberg Trials. The indictments against more than twenty prominent Nazis and six corporate institutions had been prepared in the six months which had elapsed from the end of the war.

In the Nuremberg trials every word spoken and every document referred to had to be translated into several languages, and yet the court took less than 11 months to deliver its verdicts.

Back to the present then and a trial that took a somewhat longer time to organise, and it would seem, is taking an eternity to reach its conclusion. The Sheridan Trial Blog has been updated mainly by James Doleman since the start of the case. Mr Doleman one would suspect is a supporter of Tommy and Gail Sheridan but he does try, with varying degrees of success, to steer a middle course and report proceedings in an objective manner. All human life is there in the comments section from, one would suspect, everyone ranging from political activists to those with a legal interest. Most post anonymously with the attendant bravado that permits.

Her Majesty may have been rather too busy to concern herself with how her Advocate was faring against the Sheridans, as the Royal Family basked in the reflective glow of the announcement of a wedding next year. It is fair to say that Scott at Love and Garbage doesn’t seem to be aligning himself with the widespread delight expressed by the great and, it has to be said, the good, on the news.

Politics is never far from the headlines and with the Holyrood elections looming next spring Gordon Johnston reports on the possible move north of the always enigmatic George Galloway in pursuit of his search for a seat. At the same time Gordon reflects on a similar move south for Gerry Adams in Ireland.

On procedural matters at Holyrood, Lallands Peat Worrier reports on the failure of Margo McDonald’s End of Life Assistance Bill to attract sufficient support. One suspects though that this particular issue has not reached the end of its life.

The fact that so many lives end prematurely assisted by alcoholic excess, and the lack of support for another Holyrood bill has been exercising the keyboard of The Burd who also has a wonderfully mature and reasoned article on Gig Etiquette

The etiquette at last night’s gig at the Fox and Hounds was impeccable. My good friend Helpless Dancer anticipates an acoustic night starring James Grant (Love and Money) and harmonica virtuoso Fraser Spiers which I can testify lived up to the promise.

Helpless Dancer’s blog centres very much on music and his insight and knowledge on the subject is well worth a look as is The Islay Blog which covers two subjects dear to my heart viz. malt whisky and photography. Armin (for it is he) takes stunning photographs of which this shot of the Paps of Jura published on Friday, is a fine example.

The news that the SNP government has declined to invest the £12 million required to allow for software updates which would continue the option for separate tax raising powers by a Scottish government elicits quite different responses from Devolution Matters and Andrew Reeves

Anne Bonnar meanwhile, concerns herself with other aspects of the budget cuts and how the arts and culture will be affected.

And while we are talking numbers adjacent to those in the telephone directory Suitably Despairing gives a green view on the continuing saga of Donald Trump’s mission to convert a large acreage of scrub (and that’s only his hair! – boom! boom!). The article is illustrated by a fine photo of the Trumpster.

Peter Curran gives his view on the relative merits of the Glasgow and Edinburgh quality press, pointing out what he sees as a changing political stance by the Herald and Scotsman.

And whilst the polls are predicting a torrid time for the Lib Dems in the upcoming Holyrood hustings, one activist at least is still a believer. However Caron’s posting about bullying is the kind of personal blogging which can strike a chord with many.

Hopefully some of the money raised by Children in Need can help some of Caron’s modern day counterparts although as with all fundraising, there’s always a scam following not far behind.

The wonderfully named Aye Tunes is looking for nominations for Scottish Christmas recordings.

After all it’s only four weeks on Saturday.

One wonders if the war, for Tommy at least, will be over by then.

In a week when we all stopped for two minutes to remember those who fought for freedom, bloggers across Scotland are finding it’s as important as ever for their voices to be heard.

Scotland for the Senses commemorates Rememberance day with a look at the Black Watch Memorial while Love and Garbage shares her particularly poignant memories of November 11th.

This week also saw students take to the streets in London to protest against a rise in tuition fees. Though not in Scotland, we still had lots to say about it. Planet Politics asks “does progressive mean aggressive?” and the demonstration at Millbank Towers encouraged Land Matters to find out who the Conservatives are paying their rent to.

Thursday was the day that Paul Chambers lost his appeal after being arrested for posting a joke on Twitter. Bloggers and tweeters worldwide are up in arms and Missy M asks us to think about what it would be like if everything we tweeted were taken literally. Likewise Alex Massie at The Spectator talks about the epic injustice of the whole fiasco and as a Scot working abroad, Mark Shields worries that the powers that be no longer understand the world we live in. Elsewhere Real Street delves deeper into the matter, also commenting on Conservative coucillor Gareth Compton’s arrest for his tweet calling for a Muslim journalist to be stoned.

In politics this week, Bright Green encourages you to use your voice to ask Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander to stop consorting with tax avoiders and Devolution Matters writes about the Public Bodies bill and getting legislation seriously wrong.  After attending Positively Independent last week Bella Caledionia shares a round up of the event focussing on women and Scottish politics. Over at Fair Votes Edinburgh the subject this week is The Alternative Vote and their post runs us through the process and points out that it’s not as complicated as the powers that be would have us believe.

Elsewhere Burdz Eye View advocates for those whose voices aren’t heard; the thousands of Scottish children whose lives are affected by the damage alcohol does to their families and Words to Good Effect delves into the etymology of diamonds and the wonderous wording used to describe them.

The boys at Scheidt’s Footballing Miscellany are using their voices to branch out from blogging and bring you their brand new podcast while Malcolm Fraser shares his unique form of writing over at Weekly Inspiration.

Both Underdogs Bite Upwards and Freedom-2-Choose use their voices to speak out against the proposed smoking ban in cars  and finally Mark Gorman doesn’t like being told what to do. He shares a video from his recent trip to California to show us exactly why.

Thanks, as always, for nominations. Now it’s time to get trawling the internet and use your voice to nominate your favourite posts for next week’s round up.

How do you go at the Sunday papers? Sports first, the crossword, your favourite columnist or do you dive straight in with the gravitas and politics (not, obviously, the same thing)?
I start low and work up – red top tabloids, pretty pictures in the shiny supplements to hard news via travel. I think I’ll do the round-up in a similar vein.

TABLOIDS AND GLOSSY SUPPLEMENTS
Andrew Reeves thinks it’s time Ann Widdicombe hung up her dancing shoes and made a dignified exit from Strictly. If you don’t know what he’s on about, you should probably skip forward a bit.
Julie Scrumptious rustles up a death-row dinner for her vegetarian chums.
Yeah.. Ok.. Bye has happened magpie-like on some beautiful jewellery and Rmontalban celebrates an exceedingly moody-looking Bonfire night.
Edubuzz illustrates the desperate measure she resorted to to get her children to read.. and other entertaining pictures.
And Mike Ritchie ponders the relative merits or otherwise of size.

TALKING AUTISM
An autism fundraiser this week urged a ‘communications shutdown’ to highlight the condition. It brought forth blog.
Soft Thistle and Oh Mammy applauded the sentiment but questioned the method.
Meanwhile, a nomination has come arrived for a short story by an 11-year-old boy with Asperger’s. Disclosure: he’s my boy and lives at Bundance Palace too. Still a work of genius though.

ON BALANCE
The other side of a story and the way in which the media cast its light inspired a few bloggers this week.
Greener Leith asks hard questions about a biomass consultation.
Lena The Hyena is worried about plans for Craibstone Estate.
And Go Lassie Go raises concerns about the different treatment of Margaret Jaconelli in her battle with Glasgow City Council and the Aberdeenshire residents whose homes are threatened by Donald Trump.
A Place To Stand discusses alarmism and the Scientific American.

FOR OUR READERS IN SCOTLAND..
Love and Garbage raises a smile from that most irritating and London-centric of phenomena.
While Freedom and Whisky looks at our postcode lottery.

AGRICULTURE
Land Matters is bothered by the future of farming subsidies in Scotland.
Misssy M reports of a scatological outrage near her that may be a misguided attempt at fertilisation.

LAW
Lallands Peat Worrier has a fascinating tale of police cunning and undress. It contains the phrase “corpse-lit carnal revelries”. Very funny too.
Absolvitor discusses bringing back the belt… or not.
The Lockerbie Case looks at the Scottish Government’s moves to introduce emergency legislation.

POLITICS
At this stage in the Sunday papers it’s almost certainly time for some more coffee.
Burdz Eye View turns her beady gaze to Iain Gray and declares his conference speech a triumph.
Caron’s Musings take a ranty turn when Vince Cable sends her an email. “We need stuff that we can really use. What we’re getting is like sending us out to do battle with a sharpened banana.”

ART ’N’ THAT
View From The Stalls had a spooky night on a tall ship watching Curse of the Demeter.
The new Burke and Hare movie got two bloggers to the cinema – not together though. Gibberish had to report that it smelled of “ham and piss” and Reel Scotland was even less flattering.
Poetry moved several souls this week. Blogfeast was revisiting Wilfred Owen. The Scottish Poetry Library’s podcast this week futures Andrew Greig.
If that’s all a wee bit high-brow over the bacon rolls, Thumbcast has a zombie-related romp with the new Walking Dead series and French film Le Horde.

SPORT
Left Back In The Changing Room talks about SPL reform.

There, now if you’re quick there’s still time to go to church/listen to the Archers/wash the car/write a blog post. Thanks for your attention.