Greetings from gloomy, wet and cold Adelaide. Yes we really do have winters in the Antipodes. Our kids struggle with cold weather and I am still working on the concept of putting on more clothes. The coldest weather for most of the year is in the frozen food section of the supermarket. At least we are getting some rain this winter. Sounds like things are warmer in Edinburgh with advice on spots for tanning being suggested by @andyhayes I’m sorry, but I thought the only place for a tan in Edinburgh was here. A quick search on twitter indicated that there were others who were getting the benefits of the sun. I remain sceptical.

Clearly this has been a big week in the homeland with lots of people pissed off with politics and politicians. Here in Australia, the big discussion has been complaints about our ultra geeky Prime Minister being too blokey with his “Fair Shake of the Sauce Bottle” quote, trotted out three times in one interview. Nobody really knows what it means. He was asked to translate it into Mandarin, which he politely declined. Clearly, judging from that, he and his government are sailing along nicely. Not perhaps as well as our UK counterpart if I am to believe what I read in the blogs this week.

I can remember being a student and unemployed in the UK in the late 70s when fascists had there day in the sun (set?). Similar grim economic times and a very unpopular leader. People lost faith in politicians. So what has changed? Not much, it seems.

Lots of more detailed analysis of the political events of the week as you may expect. For all the geeky psepholgists, all the Scottish numbers provided courtesy of the Lallands Peat Warrior. Will has some thoughts on it, debunking much of the major party spin. Amused Cynicsim announces the demise of First Past the Post . Alex Massie takes time out from twittering the darts to make the case for carry on carry on. Serious analysis also from Flying Rodent, who makes the case for tyrannical politickalcorrecknesses driving the BNP vote.

Caron takes an interesting look at the Scottish experience and how it relates to the overall picture. Duncan also has some good thoughts on how the SNP does nationalism. That said, so what? says Ideas in Civilisation. All in all however from far off, it all looks a hell of a lot more democratic than this one.

Taking a look at the big picture, Boxologies tidies up the strategic imperatives from Commander Mandelson and Gordo’s last true believers as election season kicks off for real. Better to get beaten down the road than smashed next month? Finally Comerade Kim Il Eugenides is so depressed, he has decided to temporarily move to another cold and miserable place to wait for the general election. Couldn’t be any worse? I used to visit Korea regularly. They have many Scottish traits, including a love of drinking until they fall over. What Scots could benefit from are the public hot and cold baths that many South Koreans use to face the working day after a heavy night.

Also considering jobs in a warmer climate are employees from a Scottish call centre, who have cynically been offered jobs in Manila , possibly one of the worst places in the world, to avoid redundancy pay outs. Get ready for some balut (makes haggis look palatable) and St Miquel beer boys. Not sure if they sell Tartan Special in the Philippines. Very sad and cynical. No expat packages there. Most of the overseas call centres for Australia are in India and the Phillppines and clearly I can look forward to some unexpected voices soon as my late credit card payments are chased up.

And then there is the recession in glamour football players, not! Barcelona had a majority of home grown players in their Champions League winning team this year. When Celtic won in 1967, all their players grew up within spitting distance of Parkhead. Likely the exceptions to the rule. Football, the peoples game?

And while we are talking about football, Australia made it into the Soccer World Cup (we have to add that here where football is footy and we wouldn’t want to confuse everyone. The governing body is called Football Federation Australia, but they govern soccer. Confused?. Now all we need is for Scotland to do their bit and join them in South Africa. Surely from where they are placed there has to be hope. Surely?

If you can’t get out during the day, at least make sure you don’t get run down coming home from the pub. If you do make it home, some of these would hit the spot.

Until the next time, goodnight from Adelaide.

Want some carrots?

Having just finished two weeks of off again on  again child taming myself, I could have benefited from Alex Massie’s free advice on child taming. Dorothy and friends works well apparently.

The Wizard of Oz transforms cranky tots into goggle-eyed paragons of quiet behaviour.

His sister Claudia has a very fine art blog showcasing some of her work and that of others. I am always interested in the interpretation of the Scottish landscape, brooding and dark. My father is an artist and his early work was like that. He has lightened up a little. I know that the light and changing weather make for some very inspired source material. Here in Australia I capture all those things with my digital camera. Much quicker and a lot easier than developing your own film. What an 80s type of thing. Or was it earlier than that.

Strathearn Journeys by Claudia Massie

And speaking of hobbies and keeping it in the family, this is what my brother likes to do on the weekend. I walked up there one sunny day in summer over 20 years ago. It was snowing on top and there was no view. The diversity of the human experience and peoples interest amuse me. Running up Ben Nevis does not.

This is more along my line. Glaswegian Guerilla Gardening. I wonder if you can get carbon credits for the good works? And our Jakarta correspondent reminds me of why I am happy not to have to go there any more.

Being out of Scotland, it is easy to lose touch with football issues like who is Kris Boyd. A prize prick by the look of things. And who is that other guy?

Here in Adelaide, the big soccer stories are the Socceroos going up against Qatar tonight in World Cup qualifying and Adelaide United’s 22,000 kilometre round trip to Tashkent to try to secure a spot in the final of the Asian Champions League and a spot in the World Club Championship against Manchester United and some other teams. They are even taking along a chef for the trip. What’s wrong with the food in Tashkent.

Talking of great places to watch football. What is it with all those Dumbarton supporting bloggers. They are everywhere. This two word combination with negative conotations reminded of those dour football roundups on a Saturday afternoon that I grew up with.

….

“Dumbarton nil”

……

Rangers one?

Insert your team and you know what I mean..

Personally I would add G____e B__s_  and G___d_n B__w_ to that list.

Talking of wankers, this guy will have to learn things all over again.

And when things don’t look too good, just be glad that you have a more positive outlook than this guy.

And if all else fails, try this.

And taking the heartless biscuit, our friends from the Government, planning for the Nuclear Holocaust in the 1970s.

“If your grandmother should die while in the shelter put her outside, but remember to tag her for identification purposes.”

Talking of pleasant Scottish things, how about the weather.

There is just NO getting away from it – Scotland is a ****** cold country. And I’m sorry for swearing but Scotland is so ****** cold all the time that you HAVE TO use expletives. A friend in Sri Lanka who’s done a fair bit of world travel and living abroad told me that when I went home I’d “near freeze to death”. What he forgot to tell me was that it would last for … a month so far and counting. I thought I’d get used to it but I haven’t.

Seems that Sri Lanka has some down sides though, like having to wash your clothes every day. When I lived in the Philippines, the neighbour used to wash our clothes. They lasted about a week after being bashed by river bed rocks to get them clean.

When I first moved to America, I couldn’t get over the fact that it was warm most of the time and sunny almost every day. I am used to it here in Adelaide. Spoilt eh? Unfortunately I am stuck here now, because my family would moan too much if we moved to Scotland. They have the heater on in the house when it is 20 degrees. My kids have no concept of the idea of putting on some clothes when it gets a little cool.

Wednesday is recycling day every second week in our neighbourhood. I was impressed this morning when the driver did a poor job of dumping the bin. Lots of stuff ended up all over the pavement. He got out of his truck, put it back in the bin and dumped it. Perhaps he has something to teach these guys.

And talking of reducing our environmental footprint, it seems that the Scots do quite well.

Talking of things the Scots do well, we are very good at growing potatoes. Almost everyone in Scotland must have taken time off to pick them at some point. Missy M made me all nostalgic Miserable, muddy and cold are my memories, not so different from Missy M’s experience.

So here’s how tattie picking works- the clue’s in the name. A tractor with a thingy attached goes up the field. The thingy digs over the ground exposing the tatties to the world, it is your job to pick them up. There we stand, with our own six meter square area to clear of tatties and put them in buckets. You’ve the time it takes for the tractor to come back down the field until we move on to the next dug section of earth to start over again. It’s physical work alright. In fact, it’s chain gang type work. Without the fetching striped jammies and ….erm, chains.

My brothers father in law was a potato merchant. Every year he used to take his family skiing. I met them in Colorado one year and took them for their first Sushi. He was shocked that you could have a meal without potatoes. It was one of his first ever. We had to take him out to McDonalds for French Fries afterwards so that he could feel that he had eaten.

And if you are in Brae Shetland and feel like some potatoes, you can avail yourself of the most Northerly Fish and Chip Shop in the UK.

Is a Jacobyte bigger than a Gigabyte?

Moving back into important stuff, Mr Farty continues his common man’s guide to computer storage terminology.

And talking of not quite enough storage, these guys need some external storage by the looks of things. Is it on the other hand, a metaphor for the world economic bail out and the likely end result?

And speaking of festive matters, it is only about 50 days to Christmas.

On that note, I will vacate the keyboard and go and finish my kangaroo sausages. Until the next time. Onya from the Antipodes

As I start writing this we are just recovering from having two consecutive days of rain here in Adelaide. A very unusual occurrence in our current drought affected climate. The rain dancers have clearly done their job and the farmers are hoping to sew a crop. My kids were moaning and groaning about not being able to go outside to play and were incredulous about my stories of my early years in the land of the wind and rain. Sunday started off with bucketing rain, some cloud, brilliant sunshine, some overcast… and so it went on. You get the story. Anyway it put me in the mood to craft another high quality Scottish Roundup. Thank you for your indulgence as I take at a look at some of the stuff that caught my eye this week. Oh and thanks Duncan for your suggestions.

Richard Havers joins in with the majority of the population of England and Wales and sticking the knife in to Gordon. Nae Balls would seem to be the theme. (Perhaps he should get rid of Mr Balls instead?) Angus Nicholson highlights the benefit of burying bad stories. Perhaps Gordon could change the law? Casillis tries his hand at political advertising. Don’t look yet Gordon, things are still looking pretty bad (remember John Major?). Doctor Vee on the other hand has just had it with politicians in general.

Meanwhile back in Scotland, the Anything Except Independence Committee is launched. Callum Cashley disects the great and the good who will ponder what extra powers to give to our friends in the Scottish Parliament. Based on recent polling it seems that Scots are happy to have a bet each way. Perhaps they are concerned about the declining oil supplies in the backyard. Councillor Andrew Barns Really Bad Blog (what a great name for a blog) examines the different agendas and responses to the poll. Speaking of empty strategies, Groanin Jock finds a way to boost Scotlands technology industry based on experience in the US. More empty promises? Adam Smith Was A Socialist throws in his 10p worth. Holyrood Watcher weighs in with more, although he seems more concerned about the demise of another Scottish business, sold off to global crap beer specialists based in Holland. Speaking of crap beers, more Tartan Special anyone? I used to love the smell of that brewery as I walked to the rugby at Murrayfield. Sick I know, but Just don’t get caught sniffing in public. Your political career will sink faster than El Gordos.

Speaking of more democracy, Kezia Dugdale pitches in to the How come China is not playing fair after we gave them the Olympics line.

However, with little more than three months to go before the Beijing Olympics, few substantial reforms have been introduced that will have a significant, positive impact on human rights in China. Recent measures from the authorities to detain, prosecute and imprison those who raise human rights concerns suggest that things are just getting worse – the promised, positive ‘Olympics effect’ hasn’t materialised.

And it won’t I doubt. The best that can be hoped for is for a blow torch to be shone on the real China during the countdown to the games. Mr Eugenides runs the numbers. As expected hypocrisy rating very high.

Onto other more uplifting things, Callum Carr continues to document the appalling service from the NHS that Mrs Carr is receiving. Let’s hope he plays Grand Theft Auto rather than taking matters into his own hands. Having had my fair share of wacky medical advice, better to take it out in computer games and virtual blog world therapy.

As a Scottish Cricket Fan living in the land of cricket tragics, it was good to read that there is at least one other Scottish Cricket fan. Allmax describes his love affair with cricket and digs up this amazing fact from the time that Freuchie were UK Village Cricket Champions in 1985.

Also emerging in the wash during that time was the quite extraordinary, but apparently true, statistic that more Scots, as a proportion of the population, played organised cricket during the summer than did the English.

Based on my own experience, cricket teas were very good and hanging out on a summers afternoon, even if it was raining was better than doing housework.

Ideas of Civilisation tackles James Bond and class warfare. My own kids example suggests that that smaller the class size the better. My other connection with James Bond and education was that Sean Connery was a nude model when my dad was at Edinburgh Art College. Scotland strikes me as a cold place for that career path. No doubt that is why he moved on to bigger and better things.

Silver Sprite tackles twitter. I am rather surprised that there is a blog post of things to say about twitter. My wife thinks it is the most moronic thing and looks at me in a suspicious way whenever I am on the computer. Blogging she can tolerate, but for Twitter “What is the point????” I generally have no good answer. Twerpy Twerpy Tweet Tweet.

And in a bid to become famous, Clairwill will be appearing live on her neighbourhood CCTV. Fame at last. And talking of crime fighting measures, Bishop Hill reckons some of our European Friends should be sent to jail immediately. Auld Reekie Rants confirms that being there might not be a sufficient punishment.

And in the if you have nothing better to do department, Grant analyses the new film, Iron Man. I wonder if there is an Irn Bru angle?

And now back to the important business of politics, Tom Paine, writing in the last ditch is often one to skewer the Scots, especially Gordon and the boys. Seems all it takes is a new Maserati and some good Scottish weather to mellow his ways.

On the other hand, honorary Scot for the day, Sally in Norfolk is doing it the hard way. Not quite as luxurious as Tom’s path, but more what I remember of touring Scotland. My trip to the top of Ben Nevis was classic Scottish hillwalking. Glorious sun and warm weather at the bottom and howling wind and snow at the top. And that was May.

And that is about it from sunny and Tartan Special Free Adelaide. Until the next time. May all your beers be good.

Having missed most of the excitement of Weegies being interrupted heading off to the sun by some loony Al McQuaeda and his buddy Singe Majeep and their single handed effort to reduce the number of Four Wheel Drive Gas Guzzling Carbon Emitting Vehicles, one car at a time, I am forced to look for more uplifting material. Well at least some optimistic stuff. I am a Scot after all and that may be difficult.

OK Had to settle for funny. And now for the serious stuff.

Richard Havers has started a new blog, Airline Confidential. Nothing to do with the disruption at Glasgow Airport, but he does have a funny story about the day Robert Mugabe came to Edinburgh Airport. Is that an AK47 in your pants or are you just glad to see me. You can also learn really useful stuff like the fact that a 747 takes off every 30 seconds somewhere in the world. That is a real killer for the dinner table. How come mine were always in a 40 minute queue?

Continuing along the airport theme comes the New Scottish National Anthem, named after our new national hero. Groanin Jock has us singing along with an alternative to Flower of Scotland. We’ll need all of John’s energy when the Italians come to Hampden in the Autumn. Sing with Drunken Gusto.

O John of Smeaton
When will we see your like again
That fought and panned in
Two Al Qaeda men
And set about them
Osama’s army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again

The airport’s bare now
And cherokees lie burnt and still
O’er land that is saved now
Which brave Sir Smeato held
And set about them
Osama’s army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again

Those days are passed now
And in the past they must remain
But we can still rise now
And be a nation again
That set about them
Osama’s army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again

Speaking of Terrorism, Lady McLeod has an interesting Dubya chases Osama option for those early birds looking to stuff their kids Christmas Stockings. Or is this an adult joke present?

Flying Rodent also weighs into the War on Tetrirism. Clearly there are just so many Tetrirists plotting the downfall of the world as we know it. I mean we have all been trained in the mechanics of the evil game.

Dr Maroon in his inimitable style pays tribute to the United States and how it got away. Most people probably think that it is not such a bad thing, given the way some of the political leadership are behaving over there. Editors Note: The author would like to apologise for that completely unwarranted condemnation of current US policies. I am having anger counselling and it just slips out sometimes. Scottish Roundup has no assets, so don’t expect too much if you sue.

Pat the Chooks likes to get out into the wide open spaces. Nice weather. Not what I remember from many miserable, windy, sleeting, foggy, raining…. days that I spent on Scottish hills. I forgot that you have this sort of weather back in Scotland.

If getting out into the great outdoors is not for you or if you are just bored with your life, there is always Scotland in Second Life, where you can now talk in real time, with the enabling of voice in parts of Scotland. That will rumble all those quasi Scots, masquarading around with their L$1,000 Highland Outfits. Latest buys available for raunchy wannabee Scots include the

** “STRIP ME” KILTS
The Tartan shop now has a new line of “Strip Me” kilts that can allow your partner to rip off that kilt in a moment of (virtual) passion. Custom-ordered a kilt for L800 or just the script alone for 300L.

I think I will stick with the real life version.

In real life, true Scots stand to be harrassed by EU Sporran Polis. David Farrer reviles the impending regulation of the hairy sporran. Me too. Luckily I am in Australia.

Redemption Blues documents a recent Scottish Blogmeet, where the rich cultural diversity of contemporary Scotland was on view. I am not sure that I would be that keen to meet other bloggers since some of the jenesaisquois of the blogging experience may be lost. That said, having met some bloggers in Second Life at the Blogpower Awards, there is some merit in getting to know them a little. The photographs of the Maasai are spectacular however. There is something incredibly incongruous about the Maasai, with all the colour with a dour Edinburgh stone building in the background.

Addressing issues of cultural perception Robert Sharp has some thoughts on the non PC aspects of Tintin. Based on his writing, Tintin was pretty progressive compared to my grandparents generation.

I’ve read Tintin in the Congo, and it is indeed appalling. In addition to the obvious racism, it is also distinctly environmentally unfriendly. Tintin blows up a rhino with a stick of dynamite, shoots an entire herd of impala by accident, makes a snake gobble its own tail, performs a summary execution of a chimpanzee, attempts to shoot a crocodile in the face, and poaches an elephant for its tusks.

Where to begin with the racism in the book? Throughout, the Africans are portrayed as simpletons, who idolise Tintin and Snowy and fetishize anything western they can get their hands on. The chief of one tribe has a rolling pin for a sceptre.

We have certainly come a long way in our world view. The current Australian Labor leader, Kevin Rudd is very succesfully portrayed as Tintin by Bill Leak, one of the leading cartoonists here in Australia. I am not sure that he would share Tintin’s political outlook however.

Besom Abroad a Scottish student in Texas covers a lot of material on life in Texas with the interestingly titled post Testicles and Eggs .

One of the reasons I am such a Scottish nationalist is because it is quite sickening the way Scottish culture gets subsumed by English culture all the time. Americans seem to be very aware of Ireland and Irish culture, but they haven’t got a fucking clue when it comes to Scotland. A lot of the time, Americans will use the word “England” when they actually mean “Britain”. I’ve even heard professors at UT say this, which is disgusting. In the English department at UT (and I imagine in plenty others across the US) they hold classes called “The British Novel” but, if you look to see what writers are included, there’s never a single Scottish one there (or Welsh or Northern Irish, for that matter). They should just call the class “The English Novel” because that’s what it is. Scottish has such a thriving literary culture and yet hardly any Scottish novels are taught in the US. “Irish Studies” on the other hand is a field. If you study Irish literature, then you can join the “Ethnic and Third World Literature” interest group. It pisses me off that the Irish get to be “ethnic” and not me!

In a master stroke of positioning an American from Texas has his Beer Blog placed on the list of Scottish Blogs. We can only assume that this is a function of the importance of beer to our culture. The Scottish angle is not clear, but WTH. Perhaps Mr Smeaton can use this to help clear his bar tab.

Bloody Bus has a very entertaining look at late night Scottish Culture, focussing on a gentleman who had probably tried one of each from the Beer Blog. Who would be a late night bus driver? It certainly doesn’t seem to be like this.

Speaking of drugs, Richard Leyton mourns the end of a dear friend. These kinds of coffee makers were very popular in America when I lived there. Personally I prefer to plunge it myself. I wonder if they have the equivalent of needle exchanges for retired coffee makers.

Gordon McLean muses about social networking sites. Good and Bad. How many of these do we really need to function? Gordon has an amusing quasi legal disclaimer.

Site is copyright © Gordon McLean (1998-2007)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License. Basically if you use any of the material here without permission, I’ll hunt you down and spork you to death.

This site is best viewed on a computer screen. Any attempts to view this site on a wet haddock are not supported (for, as everyone knows, a slightly damp aardvark is better).

And if that is not depressing enough, head to Glastonbury. Peter Urwin maintains a very nice Edinburgh Photoblog. His blog is a little difficult to navigate, but the photographs are great. This one on the front page Glastonbury #4 reminded me of my trips to Manila without all the people, the Jeepneys, the houses, the pollution, the rubbish, the San Miguel, the people….

Speaking of grim living, Gareth Saunders has a plea for support for homeless people. A very worthwhile cause.

You see the solution to the homelessness problem isn’t in pouring money into hostels to remove these ‘inconvenient’ homeless folks from the streets: out of sight, out of mind. The solution, surely lies in investing time and money in trying to help transform these people’s lives.

And finally, on more upbeat note, Mr Eugenides is considered funny in Australia.

Until the next time toodleoo from Adelaide.

Lots of good stuff and thanks to Doctorvee for some suggestions. I will wade in and excuse any busted links or formatting issues. We will get those fixed.

As the sun came up on all the animals in the Antipodes, this Sunday morning, my mind moved on from the overnight activities in the West Indies and the farce that was the end of the Cricket World Cup, yes the one the Scottish Cricket Team were dispatched from many weeks ago. The Periodic Englishman, very periodic and very Scottish, reminds me about why we male cricket fans do this. In addition, we share a trait that my Australian work colleagues and my family cannot understand. Why would I support the English Cricket Team? If Scotland does become independent, I strongly recommend it doesn’t look to the International Cricket Council for strategic advice.

As the day develops it is clear that we are in for a very untypical, driech Scottish day, with four seasons in the morning. This is very unusual here in Adelaide, drought stricken capital of South Australia. At least it is not as bad as Dilligaf describes from Jakarta. I have interesting memories of getting around in normal conditions, no congestion charges in Jakarta, so I can only guess how awful it is as everything from the sewers up, floats around the city. Although this is pretty bad, most of that part of the world doesn’t even have sewers and waste water treatment, ha ha ha. I surmise from his comments that my learned friend does not take kindly to the friendly souls just over the water and the Top Banana of TTLB Ecosystem.

My trips to Jakarta were usually brief from the land of clean living, where Binty McShae holds forth. Living in foreign countries can be challenging and lonely at times. Those large Scottish social gatherings such as St Andrews Day Dances, were always a little incongruous, with the dress kilt, not the ideal outfit for thirty two degree humid weather and rooms full of drunken people with tenuous links to Scotland, out-teuchtering each other.

It is clear from a quick scan of the political blogs that everybody, except the candidates and the most devoted fans, are very scunnered of the whole election thingy. The following examples display the range of pessimistic thoughts echoed throughout the election observations. Neil Sutherland has his own not so quiet protest with the Dixie Chicks. Holyrood Belle reckons Jack is making a Major mistake in strategy.

Fitaloon suggests the NotsoNew Labour election strategy is excellent for the opposition parties. Apparently David Milliband doesn’t go down too well in the urban heartlands of Scotland. Perhaps Tony has some spread options to pay for bail, that weren’t looking too good.

Every one seems very sick of all the party brochures, but the Liberal Democrats new strategy to pay to receive election mailings, has got to take the biscuit. Please head over to your local Post Office to pay for the privilege of receiving puerile party propoganda. The funny thing is that it was targeted at new voters.

Surreptitious Evil ponders the benefit of receiving election materials after he has completed his postal vote. When all this is paper attack is done, Silver Sprite has developed an environmentally friendly way of managing the unwanted propaganda.

My personal interest in the election is limited to having gone to the University of Stirling with Commitsar Jack, where he perfected his hack skills. Consistent with my memory of empty rhetoric, said with sincerity, J Arthur McNumpty lays in to Jack and his pitch to undecided voters.

Personally I have managed to get out of voting, for over twenty five years, because of a continuing trip around the world. I have often come across this kind of baloney in getting residential status. Good luck with the friendly people at the Home Office. I had some of the same here in Australia. At least I wasn’t detained as is the practice for some questionable immigrants.

And so to predicting the result and the way forward for the Independent Communist Republic of Scotlandistan as some critics would have us believe. Telegraph correspondent Robert Colvile takes a look at some of the next steps and who will decide. I especially liked some of the comments from Angry in Surrey.

Honorary Scotsman for the purpose of this round up, Tom Paine, Wintanagemot Club member, has contributed to the SNP as part of secret plans and clever tricks to establish an English Republic.

The newly independent Scotland will have to develop a sound basis for the economy and this fairy story will inspire other would be business strategists. Richard Havers discusses some of the challenges of producing organic foods and the link to future sustainability.

Responsible drinking and shoving young people in the slammer for having a glass of wine were addressed vigorously by many bloggers, but Anastasia Beaumont-Bott had a very thoughtful assessment. Her just say no message may be right for some, but personal responsibility seems to be the key message. I could have learned from that.

As for the touchy feely stuff, it is frustrating to think of the perfect response to an incident much later. Jake the Dog’s owner recounts a simple incident in the park. Just because you have a dog, people feel that they can come up and talk to you.

Kim “The Pirate” Ayres doesn’t seem to have any problems with female interest in his blog. All he wants to know is why?

One thing I struggle with is organisation. I was very impressed with Gareth J Saunders, an Episcopal Priest and Computer Expert, with the University of St Andrews, who shows how to keep things organised. I had to look hard for the bible. Obviously a disciple of the computing religion.

And in the transportation category, Scottish Cooperative Wholesale Republic reminisces about early years trainspotting. Finally Reactionary Snob gets behind a public service strike.

After all that we should relax and realise that there are people who like Scotland, regardless of all the political baloney. Hope it gets better next week. Just remember as they used to do in some of the countries I used to work in, Vote Early and Vote Often.

And if it doesn’t work out for you, here are 10 Things to Do Before You Die.