“Moldova – musical run-o-the-mill, but a lovely frock an great hair, awfy arrestin…

Finland – Trash. Next…

Russia – Big happy song wi a peace thing gaun oan, should dae awright…

Greece – Ach ye’ve got tae let the Greeks hae a wee laugh this year, it’s only fair…

Ukraine – Cannae understand this bein a favourite, an the giant cairryin her oan, er, whit?”

So what did Scotland’s tweeters make of the spectacle on the night itself?  Claire O’Gallagher was a fan of Norway and the Netherlands, although something gave me the slight impression that Greece was her outright favourite.  Maybe it was her use of screaming block capitals when she tweeted “THIS HAS TO WIN.  YAMAS!!!”  All the same, she suspected the “naked bodhrán drummers” from Ireland had snatched victory at the death.

Will Patterson started off liking “the woman with the flaming dress” (think that was Moldova), before apologising profusely to the people of Malta for enjoying their entry too much.  His favourites never win, you see.  He took sharp exception to the idea that the German entry was a rip-off of last year’s winner Loreen – after all, “Loreen was in tune”.  He also rated Norway highly, feeling it had “plenty of oomph”.  You’re a man of taste and discernment, Will.  Speaking of which, Lynn Corrigan also gets top marks from me for somehow referencing the Norwegian entry and the Blake’s 7 character Servalan in the same tweet.

Controversial Labour activist Duncan Hothersall reported that his partner reflexively started singing Flower of Scotland as soon as Spain struck up the bagpipes.  For pity’s sake, Duncan, take that man of yours to one side and have a stern word with him – we’re better together, God Save the Queen can easily be played on the bagpipes, and there’s no good reason why a separatist dirge should pop into anyone’s head at a moment like that.  Duncan also took an instant liking to Finland, for the very best of reasons –

“Lyrics awful. Staging embarrassing. Sounds a bit like she’s singing “f*** you”. Finland is definitely my favourite so far.”

In the end, of course, it was Denmark’s Emmelie de Forest who emerged as the comfortable winner – as I ingeniously managed to predict in advance by copying everyone else’s predictions.  Gail Ross reckoned that the ending had echoes of The Hunger Games (I’m not entirely sure what she means by that and frankly I hope I never find out), while Paul Leinster was just one of many who were eagerly awaiting Birgitte Nyborg’s statement on her country’s triumph.  Spectator editor Fraser Nelson proudly pointed out that de Forrest has a Scottish connection, as she has spent the last five years working in collaboration with Fraser Neill.

Even the sinister Cybernat hordes, who normally spend their recreational time driving national treasures away from Twitter with despicable abuse such as “hello” and “I like your cardigan”, took the night off to revel in the success of a small northern European nation of five million people.  Pete Wishart (famously the first MP to have appeared on Top of the Pops) declared that he had found the experience of tweeting during Eurovision for the first time “cathartic”, adding – “Go Denmark, and all those other independent self-governing nations”.   Alex MacLeod turned his attention to who might represent Scotland at the contest if we ever get the chance to follow in Denmark’s footsteps, suggesting that Wishart’s old band Runrig should get the nod.  But Wishart’s own colleague Angus MacNeil MP dropped a bombshell by approvingly retweeting someone who would much prefer Dotaman.

One or two Nats did express some misgivings about the prospect of Scottish representation at Eurovision.  Better Independent fretted over whether Scotland would have to apply to take part, pointing out that there is just “so much uncertainty”.  And Wishart himself wondered aloud if “oil is too volatile a resource for an independent Scotland to do well in Eurovision”.  Keep the faith, Pete – if all else fails, let’s not forget we’re the Saudi Arabia of marine renewables potential as well.

There was also a certain amount of non-Eurovision blogging this week which I am apparently contractually obliged to cover in this roundup.  On Thursday evening, Nicola Sturgeon and Michael Moore locked horns in the first of what may be a great many head-to-head debates over the course of the long independence referendum campaign.  Moore’s main attack line concerned the SNP’s supposed lack of a “Plan B” on their currency proposals, but Rev. Stuart Campbell was distinctly unimpressed -

“There’s a very good reason why nobody in the UK government will actually come out and say a Sterling zone wouldn’t be allowed, despite being repeatedly pressed on the subject by interviewers. It’s because it IS an empty threat aimed only at sowing fear, uncertainty and doubt. The longer the referendum debate goes on, the harder it will be to sustain the illusion.”

And now I have some grave news to impart, ladies and gentlemen.  Fascism is once again stalking the streets of a European capital – and this time it’s serious.  The March on Rome, the Night of the Long Knives, the Anschluss…all of these things pale into insignificance now that Nigel Farage has been called a bawbag on a trip to the Royal Mile.  He was of course there to launch UKIP’s campaign for the Aberdeen Donside by-election.  Tris from Munguin’s Republic and Mike Small from Bella Caledonia are just two of the many bloggers who bizarrely appear to be drawing some kind of amusement from this perfectly logical choice of location.  Could I just say, though, that I’d be really grateful if a Shetland councillor could resign his or her seat sometime soon, because I’d quite like there to be a local by-election, just so I can attend the UKIP campaign launch.  I’ve always fancied a visit to the North Pole.

The lifeblood of fascism is of course the demonisation of minority groups, and it looks like the chosen victims this time are former stockbrokers, and men from the Home Counties who don’t like Romanian immigrants.  How on Earth did that happen?  Lord Monty may have a clue – he’s discovered that one member of the “Scottish nationalist fascist” menace that Mr Farage has so bravely brought to our attention is a Labour-supporting former public schoolboy who attended Harrow.  Jeez, it’s always those guys, isn’t it?

On Tuesday, Highland Council gave the go-ahead for a lap-dancing club to open in Inverness.  Taking issue with claims from the Women’s Support Project that what goes on in such an establishment constitutes ‘violence against women’, sex worker and prolific blogger Laura Lee tells the story of how, in her view, taking up lap-dancing saved her life –

“In that club, I found solidarity and I found camaraderie with the other women. I also found independence and a freedom from fear. I was safe, at last.”

Today is the day of the ‘Pedal on Parliament’ event in Edinburgh, which is seeking action on improving safety for cyclists.  Sara Dorman has been wondering how to safely get families from Harrison Park to the Meadows during the event, and points out that the logistical difficulties are testament to the very need for holding the protest in the first place.

Michael of Carers Speaking Out is also involved in campaigning.  He explains how the isolation of life as a carer, and the need to fight for himself and the person he cares for, has given him the strength to also fight for the interests of other people in the same position, both locally and nationally.

For Gin or Gym, though, the true strength has been found in knocking down a wall she built a long time ago to protect herself –

“If you think about it when we cut ourselves we put a sticking plaster on to stop the bleeding or to help the wound heal but when we hurt ourselves psychologically, we stick a dirty great big wall up so that we will never be wounded again. It takes guts to demolish that wall, to let people see that you are human, that you do cry, you do hurt when unkind things are said even in a joke and yes, you do get emotional when you succeed. For those of us who suffer from any kind of panic or anxiety disorder taking that wall down is flippin scary because you worry that it could have other consequences. Not me, no more, I am demolishing that wall.”

And on that inspirational note, that’s your lot for this week.  Don’t forget to help out next week’s editor by nominating any interesting blogposts you come across on your travels.  Oh, and could I just offer my heartfelt thanks to the people I follow on Twitter for actually talking about Eurovision last night.  If they hadn’t, I’d have been in far more urgent need of a Plan B than Nicola Sturgeon.

Moving on to politics, Ian Smart shares some honest and balanced thoughts on being cybernatted after Twitter comments. He doesn’t shy away from his own mistakes, but suggests that the over-reaction was unwarranted. Lallands Peat Worrier argues that the First Minister isn’t quite as unpopular with women as some think.

Over at Out-Law.com, there’s a story on the complexities of splitting off pension funds for companies operating in an independent Scotland.

Audrey Birt learned about caring for patients as a nurse. She then saw it from the other side as a patient and has some thoughts on how important it is to get the quality of care right, to let people feel involved and part of the process:

What being on the receiver end of care has helped me understand though is why    when your care is not person centred it is easy to disconnect. I hadn’t understood before why people sometimes didn’t  attend follow up. But  then when you wait hours in a follow up outpatient clinic to be told you are fine, without any exploration of what fine would be for you.  Nothing about how your life has been impacted on, simply about how a scar has healed…the visible ones at that. Yes I understand how it feels not to want to go back.

Dorkymum adds to that theme as she outlines why she is supporting the A Midwife for Me campaign, which aims to ensure continuity of care in maternity services, so that the midwife a mother meets in labour is someone she has come to know through her pregnancy.

Think, it’s free looks at the recent Save the Children report on the challenges facing countries in the developing world on maternal and neonatal mortality.

And if you thought that Women’s Aid only provided refuge care for the families affected, think again. On Together we can stop it, Liz talks about her job supporting children and young people who have experienced domestic violence in their lives.

On music, Lis Feria interviews Gord Matheson of Strangers Almanac about their new album and the influence of explorers including Scott of the Antarctic. Hercules Moments delves into the secretive world of the Fair-Oh’s, whose sound is described as a pancake roll filled with glass.

Duncan Stephen enjoyed Adam Buxton’s Best of Bug show which was supposed to be about music videos, but found comedy in You Tube comments.

I was quite jealous at Foodie Quine’s trip to Dunblane Hydro to taste some of Nick Nairn’s dishes.

If you’re a keen photographer, you might be interested in Dear Kitty. Some blog’s article on a Scottish nature photography competition. The closing date is 1 August, so you have all Summer to get your best entries together.

That’s all for this week. We are currently making up the rota for Roundup editing between May and August. If you fancy taking a turn in the Editors’ Chair, contact us on Twitter or email scottishroundup@gmail.com.

Roundup is brought to you this week by Gavin Hamilton who blogs at The View from the Hills.

The Independence referendum is but 500 days away (so soon I hear you say) and it is all getting a little intense.  This week a comedian got abuse, a St Andrews academic called the police over threats and a driver who has killed cyclists in accidents – twice – somehow avoided jail.  To cap it all off, for light relief, UKIP made an electoral breakthrough down south.

What did the Scottish blogging world have to say?  Thankfully it wasn’t all politics and doom.

We were reminded that the weather is getting brighter as spring takes hold after such a long winter this year. Kate on thin ice tells us she is feeling upbeat  .  She tells us about what is going on in her life this week including Britmums Live, some interesting parcels and a chance to appear on TV.

Shoogly Peg wrote a charming piece discussing her daily struggles with a new baby and to understand modern art in umbrellas and unpredictability.

Music Road reviews the work of Scottish artist Karine Polwart and her album Traces here.

Elsewhere we are reminded about a couple of examples of volunteering in life.  Never mind the Indy Referendum, the countdown has begun to the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.  In a Bun Dance tells us all about this and the chance to be a volunteer helping at the games.   She describes her interview as one of 15,000 applicants for 10,000 places.  There are pictures too! 

It is not just at home that Scots are volunteering.  Little Grumpy G is working in Uganda as a volunteer.  He writes about that and his travels to Kenya during some downtime here.

Finally, many people in Scotland volunteer each day as carers for loved ones.  They do so on many levels in many different circumstances.  This week Carers Speaking Out talked about this from a different angle in a thought provoking piece written from the person cared for’s point of view in A tale from the other side.

Cycling scandal

A few readers may have noticed a case at the end of the week of a motorist avoiding jail after they were involved in an accident in which a cyclist was killed – for the second time!  The Mind of a Helmet Camera Cyclist wrote about it in What chance have we got.

Andrew Cyclist also wrote about wider questions of cycling safety and the state of our highways in I want to cycle. 

The political stuff

 “It is hard for power to enjoy or incorporate humour and satire in its system of control” Dario Fo

There was also plenty of blogging going on in the political world as usual.

The week started with a controversy over political satire.  Susan Calman wrote about receiving a lot of internet abuse because of a set she did on the radio.  If you haven’t seen her blog it is here.

Euan McColm wrote about this particular stooshie and the fallout in Scotland needs more political satire not less.

Controversial Labour activist, Duncan Hothersall, tried his own hand at a bit of satire in Yes campaign launches magic ballot.

The week ended with a magnificent piece by Stephen Noon on positive and negative political campaigning in Keep it calm your country needs you.  

All in all the Yes campaign started the week on the back foot regarding the debate about Currency and Pensions.  Divergent views emerged.

Natalie McGarry writes about this in her best piece yet for Better Nation – Diverse in action.

Douglas Mclellan also wrote about the diverse views on what independence means in Unless we grasp/explain that Indy is about power v policy we will lose.  He argues that Independence is about “having the power to develop and implement the policies needed to develop a different defence policy or more holistic welfare provision.”  And that Independence shouldn’t be about persuading people to vote Yes by arguing that nothing much will change.

The week ended with UKIP making a breakthrough in the English County Council elections – particularly in eastern England and along the South Coast.

@simonK133 drew some interesting parallels in a tweet on Friday between Nigel Farage and Alex Salmond, saying they had both “resigned, comeback and …. tapped into a mood”

A Scottish Liberal writes a comprehensive piece on what the drivers are for UKIP’s success in How do you solve a problem like UKIP.

Alex Massie argues that The Tory response to UKIP’s gains is what matters.

Bella Caledonia writes a nationalist angle arguing we need Independence from UKIP.  Perhaps bringing the week full circle and putting the nationalist cause on the front foot again.

Aw well – only 500 days to go folks.

So best not to try then. This week saw the publication of the longlist for the 2013 SAY Award, the Scottish Album of the Year. Last year saw Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat win the £20,000 prize, and I was delighted to be asked to nominate once again on what looks like a really strong and eclectic selection. You’ll be able to judge for yourself ahead of a public vote for one of the ten shortlisted albums when the full longlist streams through the SAY Award website and app from Monday. Voting also closes this week on the Scottish Curry Awards, as Trampy and the Tramp point out.

DorkyMum celebrated a big birthday this week; and rather than try to cram as much into the tale end of her 20s as I did, she instead looks back pretty fondly at what she has already achieved. The Only Boy in the House is also feeling the passage of time at the moment, as he watches his two lovely girls grow.

George Osborne was in Glasgow this week, discussing the currency options for a future independent Scotland. Since I got to read the Treasury’s policy paper for work I can summarise: nothing’s going to work as well as the status quo so why discuss it? On the same day the Scottish Government published its own paper and – would you believe it – came to a completely different conclusion. As our lawyer wearily summarises, this one’s going to run and run.

Sticking with politics, both Will Paterson and Allan of Dispatches from Paisley consider the current state of, and ponder the future of, the Labour party. Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont has, according to Allan, “jumped the shark”; but with the lack of a likely candidate to replace her the party needs to have a serious think if it wants to present a serious challenge to the SNP.

I’m still having a hard time getting my head around the fact that the government down south wants to opt out of the European Convention on Human Rights (and, presumably, revoke its own Human Rights Act) in order to deport one man. Legal blog Prout de Jure has far more coherent analysis on what led up to this development in the Abu Qatada case; namely the Court of Appeal’s refusal to allow the Home Secretary to appeal its earlier decision to the Supreme Court. “If we suspend the Rule of law and start to allow the Government to ignore the law and judges to turn a blind eye to the Government ignoring the law the terrorists have effectively won,” the blog concludes.

This post is more than a week old, so I hope you will forgive a little friendly nepotism when I share my friend Kat’s thoughts on the Boston marathon bombing, as a native now living in Glasgow. She later made a map-comic setting out the parts of the route that have played parts in her life. In the midst of turbulent times on the other side of the Atlantic, the Burd points out that Scotland has its own issues with guns.

There are also some great new sites to bring to your attention: A Thousand Flowers (lefty politics and gender); The Brawsheet (for creatives); and Get Out Glasgow (events, music, food … obviously). And Glasgow-based Team Girl Comic, which you may have picked up before if you visit the right places, is now publishing a weekly web version.

And finally, boy band and X-Factor runners up JLS called it quits earlier this week. In typically succinct fashion, Love and Garbage manages to capture what we’re all feeling.

Thanks for the point in the pub quiz that one time, guys (it stands for Jack the Lad Swing).

With Margaret Thatcher’s funeral this week, the main theme of Audrey Birt’s excellent Roundup last week continued.  What was Mrs Thatcher’s legacy and what did it mean for Scotland? How did she affect us as individuals?

A Scottish Liberal was unimpressed by the talk of protest at the Funeral and challenged those to roll up their sleeves and improve the world:

If you dislike what Thatcher stood for, and I understand that fully, why not find some more useful outlet for your political expression? Why not join a political party?  Why not get involved in a democratic movement? Why not work for one of the many voluntary organisations promoting social inclusion?  Essentially, there are very many ways you could serve society more effectively than via a short-sighted demonstration of hate. Hate is, after all, very easy; working to create a better society is a long, hard challenge.

Douglas McLellan, one of the newest and possibly most right wing (his description) members of the Green Party in Scotland writes at Better Nation that it’s time for Scotland to get over Thatcher.  He argues that many of our problems are to do with our choices of today:

Instead of looking back to the failures or successes of Thatcher, why can’t Scottish politicians move forward, looking to provide solutions to current problems regardless of their supposed origin? It seems no policy now can be brought forward without genuflecting to the memory of Thatcher. The peculiarly Scottish approach of developing public policy by first referencing bad things in Scottish history means that often the proposed solutions are not as helpful as they could be. For example, Scotland has a health problem. I am part of that problem as I am very overweight. If I still lived in Fife my weight problem would no doubt be attributed to living in a former mining village suffering from unemployment caused by Labour in the 1970s and the Tories in the 1980s (remember Labour never did anything bad to mining communities….). However my weight problem is actually to do with a disposable income large enough to fund far too many takeaways, full fat soft cheeses and high sugar/caffeine drinks.

Kate Higgins likens the referendum campaign to Tom and Jerry and says that it should be more about inspiring people than the campaigns  kicking lumps out of each other.

Living on words alone tells us of David Steel spending a night in the cells after a demonstration against the closure of the Borders rail line. This week, work started on its reconstruction.

Kelvin Holdsworth has been fending off attacks from China, France and Russia this week. Thankfully his websites are now back in safe hands and he has some advice to help us avoid the problems he experienced. On a similar theme, The Admiral’s Album had a photo which highlights just how useful our laptop could be to a fraudster but is that what we care about?

Bear Bahoochie recounts a story of unread books and fascism – a conversation overheard in a school library.

Yesterday was Record Store Day, a highlight of the year for my husband. He was out of the house to catch the first train to Edinburgh so he could be first in the queue outside Underground Solu’shn in Edinburgh. Well, he’d planned to be first, but ended up being 11th.  I was particularly chuffed to see he’d brought me a new edition of “Maybe I’m amazed” by Wings.  Ralph’s Life wrote about his thoughts on record shops in general. Circus Girl wrote about why she was supporting the event.

Sticking to a musical theme, Raymond Weir combines musical appreciation with grammar pedantry. What’s not to love?

A new blog reviewing places and events in Edinburgh has recently started up. Edinblogger reviews a Mexican restaurant.

My Beautiful Bailey tells of her adventures on her first Munro bagging trip in her new caravan.

Tartantights enjoyed her afternoon of sport.

Things are changing in the In a Bun Dance household. Will she succeed in ensuring that the whole family pulls their weight when it comes to the domestic chores?

Finally, wonderful news from one of the Roundup family. Regular Roundup editor  Shoogly Peg, wrote very movingly about her first four weeks of motherhood.

As Eilidh finally emerged on that sunny Thursday, she was met by a row of three smiling female doctors and my two wonderful midwives, all calmly helping our little girl  into the world with kindness, knowledge and confidence. I wish I could show Eilidh a photograph of that moment. Because this is what we want you to aspire to, little Eilidh. You can be anything you want to be: a doctor or a teacher, a plumber or an actor or a travelling acrobat. Whatever makes you happy: but if you have kindness and confidence, then you have everything you need.

Many congratulations to the whole family.

That’s all for this week. We are about to start compiling the Roundup rota for May-August. If you fancy a week in the editor’s chair, let us know by Twitter @scottishroundup or email scottishroundup@gmail.com.