Boobs, Blogs and Toblerone Shaped UFO’s!

I have generously taken time away from my busy schedule and unforgiving head cold to summarise what has been going on in our bonnie country of Scotland this week… so what follows is a hot mess of the highlights that stood out for me and my ‘deprived of oxygen at an early age’ brain cells….

Ultimo boss, Michelle Mone launched a fund raising drive this week for the Scottish Catholic International Aid Fund.  Now when I first cast my curious eyes over the pictures that accompanied the piece in the paper – of the Gabreselassie family  working the fields in Ethiopia- my natural instinct was to determine if the mother’s breasts were looking noticeably uplifted, friendly even…. one wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle had generously sent a few sets of her new push-up bras by recorded delivery, scheduled an impromptu photoshoot with Mrs Gabreselassie, and then unveiled the bemused potato picker later in the year as the new face of Ultimo, but no, upon reading the details of the venture my cold heart defrosted ever so slightly, this was a more serious affair.   Scots are being encouraged to give up a treat for 40 days during lent and donate the cash saved to help stop global poverty (here’s hoping wives around the country choose to give-up chocolate over sex then or there is going to be no money in the pot and a hell of a lot of wayward husbands hitting the bottle).  Michelle will also be travelling to the North Pole in 2 weeks time to undertake a month long 2000-mile expedition.  No comment need be made on the hardship her poor breasts might take during the trek but I’m confident Michelle has had her breast team of experts design her a form fitting number that will see her through her road trip minus the convenient road, warmth or Little Chef’s.  Ah well.  It is all for a good cause after all so get thinking…. What treat are you prepared to give-up?

In other news the Ministry of Defence have released reports of flying objects spotted over a range of locations in Scotland, with one electrician in West Lothian having described his sighting to be a ‘Toblerone shaped’ UFO.  Both mysterious AND delicious sounding… well count me in!  Of course they are just ‘reports’, and for the most part they have been made by men who work 60 hour weeks…. Think fishermen (long periods of time spent at sea, almost hoping to see ‘something’ other than water), bakers (notorious for sampling their own butter based delights with the sugar hits as a result causing paranoid delusions ) and candlestick makers… I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this.  But it might be fun to read up on the claims and slip on your ginger Scully wig for an afternoon or two – god I miss the X Files!  The reports are available to download for free for a month from The National Archives.  The truth is out there!

As an Editor (with an imminent expiry date) it has been my added responsibility to showcase a few of the blogs that have been nominated on Scottish Roundup this week.  I KNOW – pressure cooker responsibility!  And apparently I am meant to read the blogs before I promote them? Well, that’s just not my style.  But you can trust my instinct. So here we go…

There is an adorable blog to be found (if you look hard enough or just click on my link for ease) that talks about lipsticks and dressing like Marilyn Monroe, it is called Beauty Bombshells.  There is another blog that posts pictures of hung parliamentary members……. but I’m a little confused, the blog was in no way arousing.  Over at Come Dine With Me’s sister blog, ‘Have Fun At Dinner’ you can download a free Scottish Compilation album!  And don’t you worry it is a ‘legal’ playlist that is just perfect for nights in making love to (I’m hoping for your sake) the loved one.   Jan Patience is a journalist and she writes about Art.  I like Jan; she has a bit of spunk about her.  There is also to my surprise a blog about apples and pears AND a blog to compliment it called Salt n Sauce.  That blog likes to ask you the reader a lot of questions!  Over at Lewd Awakenings you will be introduced to Phoebe Henderson, the Skinny’s resident sex columnist… a fun read but may I suggest you wear a paper bag over your head – the convenient kind with cut out eyes, it’ll help to spare you any public blushes.  Douglas Carswell writes about money and the internet, two of my favourite things and Leith Records is quite the lovely website, showcasing Scotland’s finest music.

And then just like that…. it has all come to an end.  Another week wrapped up on Scottish Roundup!

I have to get back to my own blog now who is giving me severe *side-eye* glances.  He doesn’t like to share much.  Next week, Love and Garbage will be rounding up the strays so keep nominating the fun blogs you find on the interweb by filling in the convenient ‘Nominate Your Blog’ widget to the right of this mess or by emailing, tweeting or tagging.  That’s right, tag a wall today and see your nominated blog in print next Sunday! Au revoir.

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